Day 5: Scenes From a Window

I coast up under the tree by their house, no ligts, no radio. I unwrap the last Luna Bar and peer inside their living room window. She is sitting on the sofa in soft light, doing the crossword puzzle in the paper. He grabs a water out of the refigerator and goes back to playing his guitar. I imagine he's playing something soft, maybe something Spanish. There are flowers on the table, I see the blue glow of the T.V. in the back room. I imagine this luna Bar is instead something more luscious. What did they have for dinner?

-

He can't stop thinking about leaving her. He plays the guitar to keep his mind busy. But he keeps jumping back to that, and how much happier he would be. It's not another woman but the existence of other women, each more glamorous, more sexy, younger than she. More exciting. What happened to his exciting life?

She knows he wants to leave her. He never tells her she's beautiful, and she is not beautiful because of it. She feels deflated. She feels she must sit here and do the crossword so as not to rock the boat. It's a quiet way to pass the time, passing the time of her life, unwanted.

-

She rises and stretches. She is beautiful. Graceful, even glamorous. The paper remains on the sofa. She takes her plate of tangerine peels to the kitchen. She calls out to him she's going to bed. She walks over and kisses his forehead and cradles his head between her breasts. It's a tender scene. He watches her leave the room. Did he call out I'll be in in a minute? The light goes off in the living room. He sets down his guitar and turns toward the T.V. We watch Seinfeld together for a while.

-

He doesn't kiss me anymore. He barely touches my skin, my sleeve. I don't miss it.

She will roll over and snuggle me on a good night. This has the feeling of a cold night. This has the feeling of a long night. There are two Seinfelds on.

-

He turns off the T.V. He closes the blinds and heads to bed. I am warm and I am safe as long as I am near these people, who have everything I long for.

-

She's back.
I know.
I hope she's warm enough.
There's nothing we can do about that.
Where's her family?
I know. I wonder if she has anyone.
Maybe she left her husband. Is it too early to put some food out?
Yeah. I don't want to frighten her.
Yeah. Plus it's awkward.
Yeah.
He wraps her in his arms. She snuggles into his body. There is an I love you. There is a smile. There is small talk, quiet, gentle, that no one will ever hear.
As long as she is outside, they are safe.